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Up From the Pit Fantasy Football Week 11 Review and Weel 12 Preview

November 20, 2014

It’s the week before Thanksgiving. Which I believe is now termed Mauve Thursday, lube jobs and brakes are on sale throughout the land, in celebration of the Pilgrims not starving to death the previous winter. In Fantasy Football land we saw a week with some Topsy and Turvy heading into the Turkey Day home stretch. Let’s see how it hashed out.

Neer Neer (135 pts): The Tampa Bay Bucs may be having a horrid season, but rookie wide receiver Mike Evans (39 pts) has had an incredible two week stretch and NNN has been the beneficiary. 7 catches for 209 yards and 2 touchdowns. With Josh freaking McCown  throwing the ball. The Green Bay D/ST (33 pts) scored three times and added two turnovers in their rout of the Eagles.
Open Carriers (134 pts) The league leaders were only a point off the pace this week. The OC had their own 200 yard contributor with LeVeon Bell (29 pts) running for a sweet 204 yards. Emmanuel Sanders (21 pts), Jeremy Maclin (24 pts) and Rob Gronkowski (17 pts) did enough damage through the air to make up for soime pedestrian numbers elsewhere in the lineup.
Geatland Grendals (117 pts) Rising from the cellar for a week, last years champs grabbed the tiger by the tail, riding Bengals AJ Green (24 pts) and Andy Dalton (21 pts) to one of their best showings all season.

Start your Starters (114 pts) SYS got the right passer in the lineup this week and enjoyed Aaron Rodgers (28 pts) evisceration of the Eagles defense to the tune of 341 yards and 3 touchdowns. Matt Forte (22 pts) had another great ground and air game, running for 117 yards and a score, and catching 6 passes for 58 yards. Forte has 67 receptions with 6 games to go and is on pace to catch the record for receptions by a running back held by Arizona fullback Larry Centers at 101. The difference being that, while Centers was a fine player he was a secondary option in his offense. Forte is a true three down halfback and is having an amazing season. Too bad he can’t play defense as well.

Our Sports Team (111 pts) It felt like this was OST’s best performance in weeks. Eddie Lacy (25 pts) had 2 touchdowns, one through the air and one on the ground, and Kelvin Benjamin (25 pts) continued to be the only bright spot in Carolina. Alshon Jeffery (30 pts) responded well to his last minute benching by finally having a big game with 11 receptions for 135 yards and a trip to the endzone. All for naught.
Unaccompanied Minors (96 pts) Are the Minors letting a playoff spot slip away? Jamaal Charles (30 pts) and Jordy Nelson (20 pts) did their best, but an in game injury to TE Dwayne Allen (o pts) and a whole lot of single digit action from the rest of the team did them in this week.
Team Schierer (96 pts) The other contender to have a poorly timed off week, TS got the usual work from Killer A’s  Antonio Brown (24 pts) and Andrew Luck (21 pts), but third amigo Andre Ellington (10 pts) was bottled up by the Lions and Arian Foster (0 pts) was a late scratch.
Seoul Crushers (72 pts) Do not look directly at the Seoul Crushers box score, unless you are wearing the special safety glasses.

So here’s the running total. Open Carriers  continue to run away with the top spot. Are the Starters beginning to pull away from TS and the Minors? With three games to go a 6 point deficit isn’t insurmountable. Even NNN has yet to be mathematically eliminated! Can OST suck enough to fall into last place? Heck, if I tried to suck that bad I’d fail. 

Open Carriers 79
Start your Starters 61
Team Schierer 57
Unaccompanied Minors 55
Neer Neer 43
Seoul Crushers 40
Our Sports Team 36
Geatland Grendals 30

Week 12 kicks off tonight in a game that would look a lot better in the early 90′s. The Chiefs will feed the ball to Jamaal Charles until he breaks. The Raiders will chase fruitlessly after him. This weeks dare? Start a Raider… any Raider. The Bengals continue their mid season tour of the various southern divisions to face playoff nemesis Houston. Arian Foster is day to day with the groin injury the kept him out of the Browns game, but Ryan Mallet still lead the team to victory in his first NFL start. I expect an ugly defensive struggle. Let’s just hope JJ Watt doesn’t kill Andy Dalton. In other interesting clashes, The Denver Broncos, coming off their most listless performance since last January visit a red hot Miami Dolphins team that is shaping up to be a frightening opponent in the wild card round. The one loss Arizona Cardinals visit Seattle to take on a Seahawks team that is starting to look desperate.

The Panthers and the Steelers have the week off to do their Navy Blue Friday, Indigo Sunday, Burnt Sienna Monday or Cauliflower Tuesday shopping done.

As always, doublecheck your lineups and have fun!

Featured Image Credit “And this is how we play Football” by PascalCampion at deviatart.

Up from the Pit Fantasy Football: Week 10 review, Week 11 preview

November 13, 2014

The Grommet has pinkeye this week, so I’ve been busy with him. But there’s still time for a lightning round version of the Week 10 Review and Week 11 Preview.
8 Seoul Crushers (166 pts) Marshawn Lynch (41 pts) rumbled for 140 yards and 4 tds. Jimmie Graham (29 pts) caught 10 passes for 2 tds. And Russell Wilson (22 pts) chipped in 107 yards on the ground. I’m having flashbacks to 2013.

7 Open Carriers, 7 Start your Starters (162 pts) The OC’s were led by Peyton Manning (33 pts) of course, with his 5 touchdown game against the Oakland area JV squad. SYS managed to match the league leaders this week behind a 158 yard, 2 score performance by Dez Bryant (33 pts), despite leaving Aaron Rodger’s (36 pts) six touchdown day on the bench!

5 Unaccompanied Minors (149 pts) The Minors benefitted from Rodgers big day with Jordy Nelson (33 pts) the recipient of 6 catches for 152 yards and 2 of those TD’s. Solid work from Jamaal Charlea (20 pts) and Larry Fitzgerald (20 pts) keeps UM right on the heels of SYS for the second playoff spot.

4 Neer Neer Neeeeeer (125 pts) Another great day on the waiver wire for NNN, snagging Tampa Bay rookie WR Mike Evans and reaping the benefit of a 7/125/1 td day. 

3 Team Schierer (120 pts) TS fell off the playoff pace, suffering through a brutal bye week, he was led by Tony Romo (21 pts) but little else. Andrew Luck and Arian Foster come back this week AJ, take heart!

2 Our Sports Team (115 pts) Eddie Lacy (20 pts), Demaryious Thomas (21 pts) and Kelvin Benjamin (22 pts) are suing the rest of this team for lack of support. Carson Palmer… we are really sorry we jinxed you.

1 Geatland Grendals (81 pts) The Bengals giveth, and they taketh away… Justin Forsett (23 pts) had a nice 112 yard 2 score day… 

Running Total
72 Open Carriers
56 Start your Starters
54 Team Schierer
52 Unaccompanied Minors
39 Seoul Crushers
35 Neer Neer
32 Our Sports Team
24 Geatland Grendals

As you can see, while no one is catching the Open Carriers, someone from the SYS, TS, or UM is going to get a chance to steal the championship from them in a head to head matchup in 4 short weeks. The undercard holds some drama as well. Can OST suck hard enough to fall into last place?

Week 11 kicks off tonight with the surging Dolphins taking on the upstart Buffalo Bills. The winner will look really strong in the AFC wild card race, the loser will need help. The Bengals travel to the Superdome to face a Saints team that has been disappointing all year, but may very well have a better shot at hosting a playoff game at 4-5 than the 5-3-1 Bengals because they play in the wretched NFC South. I’ve given up predicting what the Bengals will do. Let’s just hope the “Adequate” Andy Dalton shows up instead of the “Historically Awful” Andy Dalton who faced Cleveland last week.

The game of the week will definitely be the Colts hosting the Patriots on Sunday Night Football. Both teams are coming off a buy week, hopefully rested and healthy. Looking like the best team in football has been a bit of a curse this season. The Patriots are that team right now. Can the Colts knock them off and further muddy the AFC playoff picture? Team Chaos is certainly rooting for just such an outcome.

The Cowboys, Jaguars, J…E…T…S, and the Ravens have the week off to get their early holiday shopping started.

As always, good luck and have fun!

Featured Image, Superhero Football by Mbecks14 at

Up From the Pit Fantasy Football: Week 9 Review and Week 10 Preview

November 6, 2014

Sorry for the late posting fellow Fantasy Football fans. The Schmoo has pinkeye and is all oozey and sick these last two days. Just a quick review/preview this week.

8) Open Carriers (180 pts): Chris has just assembled a MACHINE this season. His lowest scoring position this week was Demarco Murray (12 pts). Murray is the highest scoring RB in the league. meanwhile Jeremy Maclin (33 pts) caught all the balls even though Mark Sanchez has taken over at QB for the Eagles. Manning, Gronkowski and Emmanuel Sanders each had 25 pts. So it goes.

7)Start Your Starters (138 pts): Frank beat the rest of the league to the waiver wire and picked up the points from another record setting performance from Big Ben Roethlisberger (37 pts) who threw for 6 touchdowns in a rout of the Ravens. This gives the Steeler a record 12 scores over the last two games, breaking the record of 11 set by AFL legend Tom Flores in 1967 and tied by Tom Brady in 2007. I wonder what the record for a three game stretch is?

6)Unaccompanied Minors (128 pts): UC swapped QB’s with the Seoul Crushers in a challenge trade this week. The Minors came out ahead getting 29 pts from Tom Brady’s 333 yard, 4 TD performance. An impressive week considering that they spotted the league a RB, not replacing the injured Gio Bernard in the lineup.

5) Team Scheirer (127 pts): Coming up a point short of the Minors thsi week, TS was led once again by the Killer A’s. Antonio Brown (31 pts), Andrew  Luck (30 pts) and Andre Ellington (22 pts)… and oh yeah Arian Foster (19 pts). Scour the waiver wire for more Andys and Anthonys?

4) Neer Neer Neeeeeeer (116 pts): Quickly becoming the class of the second division, NNN did a great job picking up freely available talent this week. Mark Engram (24 pts) and DeAndre Hopkins (23 pts) could have been on anyone’s roster this week.

3) Seoul Crushers (113 pts): The Crushers saw the return to form of Marshawn Lynch (30 pts) who rumbled for two scores, but Russell Wilson (10 pts) struggled to gain yards through the air.

4) Geatland Grendels (113 pts): Jeremy Hill brought 28 pts from his breakout performance against the Jags. But the rest of the Bengals on the GG roster had pedestrian outings.

1) Our Sports Team (80 pts): The Texans D/ST had 22 points. That’s pretty much the only think that went well last week.

Running Total
65 Open Carriers
51 Team Schierer
49 Start your Starters
47 Unaccompanied Minors
31 Seoul Crushers
31 Neer Neer
30 Our Sports Team
21 Geatland Grendals

As you can see, the battles for 2nd and 5th place are heating up. Week 10 kicks off tonight as the first round of the Battle of Ohio is fought at Paul Brown Stadium with first place in the AFC North on the line. These games are always exciting, but this is the first time in many a year that a Bengals/ Browns game has had this much riding on it.

A couple of other 5-3 teams in the AFC play this weekend. The Buffalo Bills face the tough Chiefs, with each team trying to stay ahead of a competitive wild card pack. The Dolphins do the same against a surprisingly 6-2 Lions team. The 49′ers and Saints, both 4-4, will battle to see who stays relevant in the NFC. And that is IT for compelling games, on paper at least, because the rest of the slate is Haves vs Have-nots.

Another big bye week with Indianapolis, Minnesota, New England, San Diego, Washington, Houston taking the week off.

As always, doublecheck your injury reports, set your lineups, and have a great time watching football!

Featured Image “American Football”: by SS-Cheong at Deviantart

Up From the Pit Fantasy Football: Week 8 Review

October 29, 2014

So there were some points scored this weekend. A whole mess of points. Remember how low the scores were a week ago? That shit is over. We had our first 200 point performance ( and that could have been higher) and the highest scoring player in the NFL wasn’t even in a starting lineup!

Gonna try a different format for the second half.

1) Open Carriers 205 pts

To start with, the Open Carriers spotted the league a player when they left on their bench one Emmanuel Sanders (39 pts), the beneficiary of 3 touchdowns, 9 receptions and 120 yards in Denver’s Thursday Night victory. But that didn’t hold the OC’s back at all. Rob Gronkowski (41pts) destroyed the Bears defense, tossing defenders aside on the way to a 9/149/3 TD day. Peyton Manning (23 pts), TY Hilton (27 pts), Leveon Bell (20 pts), and Demarco Murray (26 pts) also “chipped in”. What’s that you say? That doesn’t add up to 205 points? Oh yeah… Jeremy Maclin (42 pts) only caught 12 passes for 187 yards and two scores. Just a perfect storm of fantasy domination.

2) Team Schierer 156 pts

Team Scheirer was brought to you this week by the letter A and the number 30. Andrew Luck (30 pts) was the passer, Arian Foster (39 pts) was the runner, and Antonio Brown (35 pts) was the receiver. With that kind of production from his three stars, Coach AJ really only needs she rest of the team to avoid putting up goose eggs.

3) Neer Neer Neeeeeer (148 pts)

Charging up from the basement, NNN once again depended on great pass catchers to lead his scores. Rookie star Sammy Watkins (24 pts) had 157 yards and a touchdown on only three receptions in Buffalo’s blowout win over the pitiful Jets. Super Golden Tate (28 pts) enjoyed his visit to London with 157 yards and a trip to ye olde end zone as Falcons defensive backs appeared to forget he was there at times. Drew Brees (24 pts) had a solid day to fend off rumors of his decline, and every other lineup slot had double digit points except Steve Smith Sr (6 pts) and he almost got away with stealing a score but was caught committing pretty blatant offensive pass interference on George Iloka. Great coaching from Karl this week.

4) Our Sports Team (143 pts)

Still clinging to the edge of mathematical elimination, OST got off to a strong start due to their big investment in the AFC West. Start with Philip Rivers (23 pts) on 252 yards passing and 3 tds, one of which went to Keenan Allen (22 pts). Demaryious Thomas (18 pts), caught 8 balls for 105 yards, but couldn’t get any attention in the end zone for some strange reason (damn you Sanders!). Eddie Lacy (25 pts) was stymied on the ground, but hauled in 8 passes for 123 yards through the air. There were some points left on the bench though. Heath Miller (24 pts) watched Zack Ertz (9 pts) from the sidelines. That’s 13 points they could have used.

5) Unaccompanied Minors (138 pts)

Part of the trifecta of teams brawling over the second playoff spot, these lonely children got some surprises both good and bad this week. The Dolphins D/ST (28 pts) had two pick sixes of Jaguars rookie QB Blake Bortles and also blocked a kick. Larry Fitzgerald (29 pts) continues to enjoy the return of Carson Palmer to the lineup as the Cardinals beat the Eagles to go to 6-1 on the season! And Jamaal Charles (27 pts) had a nice air and ground day to go along with a touchdown in a rout of the Rams. On the downside, Jordy Nelson (5 pts) had his first off day in weeks, and Greg Olsen (2 pts) completely disappeared against the Seahawks.

6) Start Your Starters (121 pts)

SYS had a stars and scrubs week. Matt Forte (30 pts) continued his dual threat contributions, with 114 yards rushing and 54 receiving with a TD. Aaron Rodgers (28 pts) threw for 418 yards and two touchdowns. Ronnie Hillaman (15 pts) picked a good week to have his first 100 yard game, but Dez Bryant (12 pts) and Julius Thomas (4 pts) underperformed and left the Starters in the second division this week.

7) Seoul Crushers (120 pts)

Close behind, the Crushers (actually all three of these teams in this group) put up what would have been a perfectly decent score any other week. Tom Brady (34 pts) threw for 5 touchdowns and 354 yards! Remember When he was on the waiver wire? Antonio Gates (22 pts) and Ahmad Bradshaw (20 pts) tried their best. But Marshawn Lynch (7 pts) was mysteriously neglected in the Seahawks close shave against the Panthers. Coach Abby also had a mysterious kicker deficit, as Dan Bailey (5 pts) was outscored by Shane Graham (14 pts) on her bench.

8) Geatland Grendels (119 pts)

It wasn’t a case of “too many Bengals” this week as Andy Dalton (23 pts) had two QB sneak TD’s and Mo Sanu (19 pts) caught 5 passes for 125 yards. Nobody else besides Randall Cobb (23 pts) contributed whatsoever.

Nobody saw that coming Award Ben Roethlisberger racked 44 fantasy points this week and no one even had him on a roster! His 522 yard, 6 touchdown performance came on an unheard of 40 completions out of 49 attempts. Big Ben becomes the only passer in NFL history with two 500 yard games to his credit. And he did all of that despite wearing those laughable bumblebee style throwback jerseys. And being a rapist.

Well that was a fun weekend. What does week 9 have in store? Join us Friday and find out?

Up From the Pit Fantasy Football: Week 8 Preview

October 23, 2014

The second half of the Fantasy Football season kicks off tonight with the 5-2 San Diego Chargers visiting Mile High Stadium to face the 5-1 Denver Bronco’s. If the Bronco’s win they take a two game lead over the Chargers and cement themselves as the favorite for the #1 seed in the AFC once again. If the Chargers win, they will suddenly own a tie for the division lead and a vital tiebreaker, especially with the rematch in San Diego. The Chargers have looked like the best team in the league at points this season, but the Bronco’s are coming off back to back dominant games from Peyton Manning. I don’t believe in momentum, it looked like the Chargers had plenty of it going into last week and got beat by the Chiefs, but I think the combination of home field advantage and Manning playing out of his mind favors the Broncos.

The Bengals return to the Jungle to face the hated Ravens. It is a much hotter Baltimore team than the one that they beat in the season opener. AJ Green sat out of practice again today, so no relief on that front. Offensive coordinator Hue Jackson needs to dig deep into his bag of tricks if the Bengals want to compete for the AFC North title and host a playoff game. A loss here could drop them into a scrum of teams fighting over a wild card spot and give the Ravens a clear path to the division and maybe even the top seed if someone can knock off Denver.

In other interesting matchups, the Tennessee Titans, having seen enough of injured QB Jake Locker and journeyman Charlie Whitehurst are turning to rookie passer Zach Mettenberger. It’s a puzzling move as Mettenberger was a 6th round pick and considered by most to be a long term project rather than a quick fix. having him debut against the Texans and the JJ freaking Watt seems… risky.

The Browns managed to gift wrap a game for the previously winless Jaguars last week and this week they host the league’s other sad sack squad, the 0-6 Oakland Raiders.  Hopefully the home cooking agrees with them because dropping to 3-4 would seriously damage this upstart teams chances of playing into January.  Indianapolis visits Pittsburgh and the least the Colts could do for us Bengals fans is continue to beat up AFC North teams and put the 4-3 Steelers in their place as a past it’s prime franchise.

The Dallas Cowboys and the Washington Controversies  have the weekend off to contemplate their fates.

As always, doublecheck the injury reports and set your lineups before kickoff. And have fun!

Featured Image by lukpek at Deviant Art


Up From the Pit Fantasy Football: Week 7 Review

October 21, 2014
monday_night_football_by_pascalcampion-d5cqiot (1)

It was another tight race for most of the week 7 slate of games. But by Monday night it was obvious who would come out on top. Did we clarify the top spot while completely muddying up the race for second? Let’s take a look.

The Open Carriers (131 pts) remained atop the standings. Peyton Manning (28 pts) threw for 4 scores whilst passing blue jean pitchman Brett Favre for total career touchdowns. Le’Veon Bell (27 pts) played second fiddle with 137 yards of offense, 8 receptions and a touchdown, and the rest of the team produced solid games in support. Way behind the leader we find a 4 team scrum separated by a mere 3 points. Start Your Starters (116 pts) got yet another dual threat game from Matt Forte (28 pts) who is trying to become the third rb in history to catch 100 passes. Aaron Rodgers (24 pts) and Dez Bryant (24 pts) completed the SYS trinity.  Unaccompanied Minors  (114 pts) were led by a one man show, Russell Wilson (38 pts), who threw for 313 yards and 2 tds,  and ran for 106 and a touchdown. Team Scheirer (114 pts) on the other hand spread the ball around with 4 players, Antonio Brown (22 pts), Andrew Luck (21 pts), Arian Foster (21 pts) and Andre Ellington (21 pts) all cracking the 20 pt barrier. Unfortunately the “Killer A’s” got zero support from the rest of the team. Our Sports Team was hot on their heels as they try and overcome a slow start to get back into the playoff picture. Demaryius Thomas (37 pts) once again did most of the damage with 171 yards on 8 receptions and two of Manning’s record setting TD’s.

Neer Neer Neer (103 pts) tried their best to crash the first division party behind flex receiver Super Golden Tate (31 pts), but following the trend we see above was unable to scare up any support for the superstar effort. The Seoul Crushers  continued their free fall, with Marquez Colston (17 pts) leading their scoring efforts with 6 catches for 111 yards but no trips to the endzone. The Geatland Grendels ( 81 pts) and their Bengals heavy lineup suffered the most from Cincinnati’s bizarre shutout in Indianapolis. Randall Cobb (24 pts) and Chris Ivory (21 pts) did their best, but literally no other Grendel scored in double digits.

So at the halfway point of the season we have the Open Carriers taking a commanding 10 point lead over the pack. Start Your Starters, Team Scheirer  and Unaccompanied Minors are battling for the other playoff spot, and the other four teams struggling to stay relevant. In fact UM has a bigger lead over the 5th place Crushers  than OC  has on the second spot. There is still plenty of football to play, but the math is strting to get really hairy for the bottom four teams.

8 Open Carriers
7 Start your Starters
6 Team Aj Schierer
6 Unaccompanied Minors
4 Our Sports Team
3 Neer Neer
2 Seoul Crushers
1 Geatland Grendals

Running Total
49 Open Carriers
39 Start your Starters
39 Team Schierer
37 Unaccompanied Minors
26 Seoul Crushers
24 Our Sports Team
21 Neer Neer
19 Geatland Grendals

Featured Image Credit ‘Monday Night Football’ by PascalCampion at Deviant Art

Monday Muse: “Some” Jethro Tull

October 20, 2014

Got an hour? Click the link, I’ll fix the embed tomorrow.


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