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Up From the Pit Fantasy Football: Week 8 Review

October 29, 2014

So there were some points scored this weekend. A whole mess of points. Remember how low the scores were a week ago? That shit is over. We had our first 200 point performance ( and that could have been higher) and the highest scoring player in the NFL wasn’t even in a starting lineup!

Gonna try a different format for the second half.

1) Open Carriers 205 pts

To start with, the Open Carriers spotted the league a player when they left on their bench one Emmanuel Sanders (39 pts), the beneficiary of 3 touchdowns, 9 receptions and 120 yards in Denver’s Thursday Night victory. But that didn’t hold the OC’s back at all. Rob Gronkowski (41pts) destroyed the Bears defense, tossing defenders aside on the way to a 9/149/3 TD day. Peyton Manning (23 pts), TY Hilton (27 pts), Leveon Bell (20 pts), and Demarco Murray (26 pts) also “chipped in”. What’s that you say? That doesn’t add up to 205 points? Oh yeah… Jeremy Maclin (42 pts) only caught 12 passes for 187 yards and two scores. Just a perfect storm of fantasy domination.

2) Team Schierer 156 pts

Team Scheirer was brought to you this week by the letter A and the number 30. Andrew Luck (30 pts) was the passer, Arian Foster (39 pts) was the runner, and Antonio Brown (35 pts) was the receiver. With that kind of production from his three stars, Coach AJ really only needs she rest of the team to avoid putting up goose eggs.

3) Neer Neer Neeeeeer (148 pts)

Charging up from the basement, NNN once again depended on great pass catchers to lead his scores. Rookie star Sammy Watkins (24 pts) had 157 yards and a touchdown on only three receptions in Buffalo’s blowout win over the pitiful Jets. Super Golden Tate (28 pts) enjoyed his visit to London with 157 yards and a trip to ye olde end zone as Falcons defensive backs appeared to forget he was there at times. Drew Brees (24 pts) had a solid day to fend off rumors of his decline, and every other lineup slot had double digit points except Steve Smith Sr (6 pts) and he almost got away with stealing a score but was caught committing pretty blatant offensive pass interference on George Iloka. Great coaching from Karl this week.

4) Our Sports Team (143 pts)

Still clinging to the edge of mathematical elimination, OST got off to a strong start due to their big investment in the AFC West. Start with Philip Rivers (23 pts) on 252 yards passing and 3 tds, one of which went to Keenan Allen (22 pts). Demaryious Thomas (18 pts), caught 8 balls for 105 yards, but couldn’t get any attention in the end zone for some strange reason (damn you Sanders!). Eddie Lacy (25 pts) was stymied on the ground, but hauled in 8 passes for 123 yards through the air. There were some points left on the bench though. Heath Miller (24 pts) watched Zack Ertz (9 pts) from the sidelines. That’s 13 points they could have used.

5) Unaccompanied Minors (138 pts)

Part of the trifecta of teams brawling over the second playoff spot, these lonely children got some surprises both good and bad this week. The Dolphins D/ST (28 pts) had two pick sixes of Jaguars rookie QB Blake Bortles and also blocked a kick. Larry Fitzgerald (29 pts) continues to enjoy the return of Carson Palmer to the lineup as the Cardinals beat the Eagles to go to 6-1 on the season! And Jamaal Charles (27 pts) had a nice air and ground day to go along with a touchdown in a rout of the Rams. On the downside, Jordy Nelson (5 pts) had his first off day in weeks, and Greg Olsen (2 pts) completely disappeared against the Seahawks.

6) Start Your Starters (121 pts)

SYS had a stars and scrubs week. Matt Forte (30 pts) continued his dual threat contributions, with 114 yards rushing and 54 receiving with a TD. Aaron Rodgers (28 pts) threw for 418 yards and two touchdowns. Ronnie Hillaman (15 pts) picked a good week to have his first 100 yard game, but Dez Bryant (12 pts) and Julius Thomas (4 pts) underperformed and left the Starters in the second division this week.

7) Seoul Crushers (120 pts)

Close behind, the Crushers (actually all three of these teams in this group) put up what would have been a perfectly decent score any other week. Tom Brady (34 pts) threw for 5 touchdowns and 354 yards! Remember When he was on the waiver wire? Antonio Gates (22 pts) and Ahmad Bradshaw (20 pts) tried their best. But Marshawn Lynch (7 pts) was mysteriously neglected in the Seahawks close shave against the Panthers. Coach Abby also had a mysterious kicker deficit, as Dan Bailey (5 pts) was outscored by Shane Graham (14 pts) on her bench.

8) Geatland Grendels (119 pts)

It wasn’t a case of “too many Bengals” this week as Andy Dalton (23 pts) had two QB sneak TD’s and Mo Sanu (19 pts) caught 5 passes for 125 yards. Nobody else besides Randall Cobb (23 pts) contributed whatsoever.

Nobody saw that coming Award Ben Roethlisberger racked 44 fantasy points this week and no one even had him on a roster! His 522 yard, 6 touchdown performance came on an unheard of 40 completions out of 49 attempts. Big Ben becomes the only passer in NFL history with two 500 yard games to his credit. And he did all of that despite wearing those laughable bumblebee style throwback jerseys. And being a rapist.

Well that was a fun weekend. What does week 9 have in store? Join us Friday and find out?

Up From the Pit Fantasy Football: Week 8 Preview

October 23, 2014

The second half of the Fantasy Football season kicks off tonight with the 5-2 San Diego Chargers visiting Mile High Stadium to face the 5-1 Denver Bronco’s. If the Bronco’s win they take a two game lead over the Chargers and cement themselves as the favorite for the #1 seed in the AFC once again. If the Chargers win, they will suddenly own a tie for the division lead and a vital tiebreaker, especially with the rematch in San Diego. The Chargers have looked like the best team in the league at points this season, but the Bronco’s are coming off back to back dominant games from Peyton Manning. I don’t believe in momentum, it looked like the Chargers had plenty of it going into last week and got beat by the Chiefs, but I think the combination of home field advantage and Manning playing out of his mind favors the Broncos.

The Bengals return to the Jungle to face the hated Ravens. It is a much hotter Baltimore team than the one that they beat in the season opener. AJ Green sat out of practice again today, so no relief on that front. Offensive coordinator Hue Jackson needs to dig deep into his bag of tricks if the Bengals want to compete for the AFC North title and host a playoff game. A loss here could drop them into a scrum of teams fighting over a wild card spot and give the Ravens a clear path to the division and maybe even the top seed if someone can knock off Denver.

In other interesting matchups, the Tennessee Titans, having seen enough of injured QB Jake Locker and journeyman Charlie Whitehurst are turning to rookie passer Zach Mettenberger. It’s a puzzling move as Mettenberger was a 6th round pick and considered by most to be a long term project rather than a quick fix. having him debut against the Texans and the JJ freaking Watt seems… risky.

The Browns managed to gift wrap a game for the previously winless Jaguars last week and this week they host the league’s other sad sack squad, the 0-6 Oakland Raiders.  Hopefully the home cooking agrees with them because dropping to 3-4 would seriously damage this upstart teams chances of playing into January.  Indianapolis visits Pittsburgh and the least the Colts could do for us Bengals fans is continue to beat up AFC North teams and put the 4-3 Steelers in their place as a past it’s prime franchise.

The Dallas Cowboys and the Washington Controversies  have the weekend off to contemplate their fates.

As always, doublecheck the injury reports and set your lineups before kickoff. And have fun!

Featured Image by lukpek at Deviant Art


Up From the Pit Fantasy Football: Week 7 Review

October 21, 2014
monday_night_football_by_pascalcampion-d5cqiot (1)

It was another tight race for most of the week 7 slate of games. But by Monday night it was obvious who would come out on top. Did we clarify the top spot while completely muddying up the race for second? Let’s take a look.

The Open Carriers (131 pts) remained atop the standings. Peyton Manning (28 pts) threw for 4 scores whilst passing blue jean pitchman Brett Favre for total career touchdowns. Le’Veon Bell (27 pts) played second fiddle with 137 yards of offense, 8 receptions and a touchdown, and the rest of the team produced solid games in support. Way behind the leader we find a 4 team scrum separated by a mere 3 points. Start Your Starters (116 pts) got yet another dual threat game from Matt Forte (28 pts) who is trying to become the third rb in history to catch 100 passes. Aaron Rodgers (24 pts) and Dez Bryant (24 pts) completed the SYS trinity.  Unaccompanied Minors  (114 pts) were led by a one man show, Russell Wilson (38 pts), who threw for 313 yards and 2 tds,  and ran for 106 and a touchdown. Team Scheirer (114 pts) on the other hand spread the ball around with 4 players, Antonio Brown (22 pts), Andrew Luck (21 pts), Arian Foster (21 pts) and Andre Ellington (21 pts) all cracking the 20 pt barrier. Unfortunately the “Killer A’s” got zero support from the rest of the team. Our Sports Team was hot on their heels as they try and overcome a slow start to get back into the playoff picture. Demaryius Thomas (37 pts) once again did most of the damage with 171 yards on 8 receptions and two of Manning’s record setting TD’s.

Neer Neer Neer (103 pts) tried their best to crash the first division party behind flex receiver Super Golden Tate (31 pts), but following the trend we see above was unable to scare up any support for the superstar effort. The Seoul Crushers  continued their free fall, with Marquez Colston (17 pts) leading their scoring efforts with 6 catches for 111 yards but no trips to the endzone. The Geatland Grendels ( 81 pts) and their Bengals heavy lineup suffered the most from Cincinnati’s bizarre shutout in Indianapolis. Randall Cobb (24 pts) and Chris Ivory (21 pts) did their best, but literally no other Grendel scored in double digits.

So at the halfway point of the season we have the Open Carriers taking a commanding 10 point lead over the pack. Start Your Starters, Team Scheirer  and Unaccompanied Minors are battling for the other playoff spot, and the other four teams struggling to stay relevant. In fact UM has a bigger lead over the 5th place Crushers  than OC  has on the second spot. There is still plenty of football to play, but the math is strting to get really hairy for the bottom four teams.

8 Open Carriers
7 Start your Starters
6 Team Aj Schierer
6 Unaccompanied Minors
4 Our Sports Team
3 Neer Neer
2 Seoul Crushers
1 Geatland Grendals

Running Total
49 Open Carriers
39 Start your Starters
39 Team Schierer
37 Unaccompanied Minors
26 Seoul Crushers
24 Our Sports Team
21 Neer Neer
19 Geatland Grendals

Featured Image Credit ‘Monday Night Football’ by PascalCampion at Deviant Art

Monday Muse: “Some” Jethro Tull

October 20, 2014

Got an hour? Click the link, I’ll fix the embed tomorrow.

Up from the Pit Fantasy Football: Week 7 preview

October 16, 2014

It’s week 7 in the Fantasy Football season, the midway point between the fading memory of September’s warm breezes and the anticipation of January’s bitter winds. Yeah, feeling poetic.
Tonight’s game will be a renewal of one of the bitterest rivalries in sports as the New England Patriots host the New York Jets. Unfortunately for those hoping to see a competitive game the Jets have one of the worst quarterback situations in the NFL, with neither Geno Smith nor an aging Mike Vick providing anything resembling a threat through the air. Oh, and their running attack is lead by the Chris Johnson, who can still talk like a 2000 yard runner, but can’t even run like a 1000 yard plodder anymore. This will probably be ugly. The Jets defense isn’t bad, but I predict that they will get pretty tired of being on the field all day. One note, Stephen Ridley, who was finally showing some of the promise that made him a high draft pick, is out for the season for the Pats. Expect Shane Vereen to get a boost in touches.

The Bengals travel to Indy to face Andrew Luck and the Colts. AJ Green has already been ruled out for this game, and Marvin Jones was finally put on Injured Reserve, ending his attempt to play this season after suffering a broken foot in training camp. Cincinnati signed former Browns wideout Greg Little to fill out the depth chart, but expect Mohammed Sanu to continue to be Andy Dalton’s #1 target. Even though it’s a road game I think the Bengals match up well with the Colts. It’s the toughest game on the schedule until the trip to New Orleans in a month. It would be nice to steal a victory here.

Other interesting games on the schedule. After undressing the Tampa Bay Bucs last week, Joe Flacco and the Ravens get to feast on another tepid NFC South defense in the Atlanta Falcons. Expect another big game from either Steve Smith Sr. or Torrey Smith. But oddly not at the same time it seems. The surprising Browns head to Florida to take on a Jaguars team that has shown signs of semi-competence the last two weeks. I’d still start all of my Brownies if I had them, even quarterback Brian Hoyer if you regular passer is on bye. The first place Arizona Cardinals (really?) are happy to have Carson Palmer back (seriously?) and they also get the gift of playing the Oakland Raiders semi-pro rec league team. The game I want to watch at 4 pm is the Chiefs vs Chargers, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be gifted with “America’s Team” the Dallas Cowboys hosting the suddenly lost in the wilderness again New York Football Giants.

The Sunday Night Football game should be a doozy, with the 49’ers in danger of falling 2 games behind the Cardinals in the loss column and perhaps getting crowded out of the playoff picture altogether. And the Bronco’s suddenly fighting to keep up with a Chargers team that is playing like the best in football right now.

The woe begotten Buccaneers and the Eagles get the week off to rest. Doublecheck the injury reports and update your lineups folks. And as always, have fun!

Up From the Pit Fantasy Football: Week 6 Review

October 15, 2014
Final fantasy Football


Week six of the Fantasy Football season is in the books and a look at the standings reveals a two tiered league, with 4 teams definitely fighting for one of the two spots in the championship game, and 4 teams desperately fighting to stay out of last place. Let’s check out how this weeks action helped solidify this division.

Team Scheirer (152 pts) finally installed a complete complete lineup and they ran rampant over the rest of the competition. Arian Foster (28 pts) ran for 109 yards and two trips to the endzone combined with Andrew Luck’s (27 pts) and an astonishing 8 of 9 lineup spots in double figures.  The Open Carriers (147  pts) were right  behind TS this week with a slightly less balanced attack lead by TY Hilton (37 pts), who was the second wideout this year to amass over 200 receiving yards, and DeMarco Murray (26 pts), who led the Cowboys to their shocking upset of the Seahawks in Seattle. Start Your Starters (129 pts) made some great moves this week and some missteps. Matt Forte (37 pts) continues to be a two way threat, with 2 tds on the ground and 10 catches for 77 yards through the air. The Chargers Brandon Oliver (22 pts)  was a great pickup and flex play. But gambling at QB cost SYS this week with Eli Manning (6 pts) getting mauled by the Eagles while Aaron Rodgers (25 pts) left his 3 tds on the bench. Rounding out the first division is Unaccompanied Minors  (125 pts) who benefited from Gio Bernard’s (25 pts) 80 yard touchdown run and Jordy Nelson (25 pts) continuing to catch all the footballs, but wiffed on Larry Fitzgerald’s (21 pts) first productive day of the season.

Conveniently the above four teams are the contenders so far. Below are the four teams who are less than happy with their Fantasy Football season in 2014.  Neer Neer Neeeeeer (120 pts) was led by his starting wide receivers, Steve Smith (22 pts) and SYS castoff Andre Johnson (22pts). All things being relative, NNN has to be happy with the progress they have been making after last years consistent run of last place finishes. The Geatland Grendels (110 pts) haven’t been able to recapture the magic that made them a champion last year. A Bengals heavy lineup was led by Mohammed Sanu (28 pts) and Andy Dalton (22 pts), but they were let down by too many low single digit performances like Chris Ivory (2pts ) and DeAndre Hopkins (2 pts). Our Sports Team enjoyed another great game from Demaryius  Thomas (28 pts) and first half NFL MVP Philip Rivers (25 pts)  on 313 yards passing and 3 more touchdowns, but Eddie Lacy (4 pts) once again disappointed. The Seoul Crushers got on the Tom Brady (30 pts) bandwagon at the right time to enjoy 361 yards and 4 scores, but no one else on the entire roster scored over 20, except Cam Newton (35 pts) and you only get to start one QB.

Now there is still plenty of football to be played. The Open Carriers  have a commanding lead over the field for the top spot with 41 points, a 7 point cushion separating them from the next three teams, TS, SYS, and UC  are currently in a dogfight for that second spot and a chance at the championship. There’s enough time left that we can’t mathematically eliminate  anyone form the post season, but those four teams at the bottom better get their acts together ASAP.

The Standings

8 Team Schierer
7 Open Carriers
6 Start your Starters
5 Unaccompanied Minors
4 Neer Neer
3 Geatland Grendals
2 Our Sports Team
1 Seoul Crushers

Running Total
41 Open Carriers
33 Team Schierer
32 Start your Starters
31 Unaccompanied Minors
24 Seoul Crushers
20 Our Sports Team
18 Neer Neer
18 Geatland Grendals


Featured Image Credit: Final Fantasy Flag Football by DrAssenov at deviantart.

Up From the Pit Fantasy Football: Week 6 Preview

October 9, 2014

The 2014 NFL season is six weeks in and some things are obvious; the Raiders are horrid, the Broncos are awesome, The Seahawks look like Champs whilst the Saints look like Chumps. Other things are hazy. Will any running back besides Demarco Murray and Marshawn Lynch be worth a damn consistently this year? Will superstar receivers AJ Green and Calvin Johnson ever be healthy? Which is the real Tom Brady, the one who dissected the Bengals or the one who could barely beat the Raiders? All will soon be revealed upon the grids of iron!

Thursday’s contest is an AFC South matchup between the Indianapolis Colts and the Houston Texans at NRG Stadium. Both teams are 3-2, the Colts winning with an electric Andrew Luck led passing game and a passable defense and running game. The Texans flip the script with running back Arian Foster, backup Alfred Blue, and the ferocious JJ Watt led defense propping up a passing offense that depends on noodle armed Ryan Fitzpatrick. Gifted wideouts Andre Johnson and DeAndre Hopkins are being strangled by this passing game.

The Bengals come home after their butt whipping at the hands of the Patriots to face a Carolina Panthers team that came back from 14 down to beat the Bears last week. I like this matchup for the Bengals. Carolina is really banged up at running back so they shouldn’t be able to exploit the soft run defense of our Bengals the way the Pats did. With AJ Green out for another week with a bad toe I don’t expect a blowout. But the Bengals haven’t lost in the Jungle in forever and I don’t see Carolina changing that this week.

In other interesting games, San Diego gets their chance to star in this weeks episode of The Oakland Raiders 0-16 Nightmare Season of Horror. I dare anyone to start a Raider against what may be the best team in Football right now. The other winless team, the Jacksonville Jaguars travel to Tennessee to take on a Titans team that is already thinking of turning to a third QB, rookie 6th rounder Zach Mettenburger, to replace the hurt and innefective Jake Locker. The Jags defense started to show some life against the Steelers last week and QB of the Future is Now Blake Bortles can certainly make some incredible passes. Sunday may see things start to turn around for the teal and gold?

There are some great division games this week. The surprising Browns get another crack at the Steelers, the Giants face the Eagles on Sunday night, and MNF features the 49’ers taking on the fun to watch Rams with third string sensation Austin Davis having the time of his life playing QB for the Rams.

This is a bye week for the Chiefs and the Saints, a pair of 2-3 teams that probably really appreciate the week off to catch their breath.

As always, double check the injury reports, adjust your lineups before kickoff, and have fun watching football!


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