Up From the Pit Fantasy Football: Week 8 Review
So there were some points scored this weekend. A whole mess of points. Remember how low the scores were a week ago? That shit is over. We had our first 200 point performance ( and that could have been higher) and the highest scoring player in the NFL wasn’t even in a starting lineup!
Gonna try a different format for the second half.
1) Open Carriers 205 pts
To start with, the Open Carriers spotted the league a player when they left on their bench one Emmanuel Sanders (39 pts), the beneficiary of 3 touchdowns, 9 receptions and 120 yards in Denver’s Thursday Night victory. But that didn’t hold the OC’s back at all. Rob Gronkowski (41pts) destroyed the Bears defense, tossing defenders aside on the way to a 9/149/3 TD day. Peyton Manning (23 pts), TY Hilton (27 pts), Leveon Bell (20 pts), and Demarco Murray (26 pts) also “chipped in”. What’s that you say? That doesn’t add up to 205 points? Oh yeah… Jeremy Maclin (42 pts) only caught 12 passes for 187 yards and two scores. Just a perfect storm of fantasy domination.
2) Team Schierer 156 pts
Team Scheirer was brought to you this week by the letter A and the number 30. Andrew Luck (30 pts) was the passer, Arian Foster (39 pts) was the runner, and Antonio Brown (35 pts) was the receiver. With that kind of production from his three stars, Coach AJ really only needs she rest of the team to avoid putting up goose eggs.
3) Neer Neer Neeeeeer (148 pts)
Charging up from the basement, NNN once again depended on great pass catchers to lead his scores. Rookie star Sammy Watkins (24 pts) had 157 yards and a touchdown on only three receptions in Buffalo’s blowout win over the pitiful Jets. Super Golden Tate (28 pts) enjoyed his visit to London with 157 yards and a trip to ye olde end zone as Falcons defensive backs appeared to forget he was there at times. Drew Brees (24 pts) had a solid day to fend off rumors of his decline, and every other lineup slot had double digit points except Steve Smith Sr (6 pts) and he almost got away with stealing a score but was caught committing pretty blatant offensive pass interference on George Iloka. Great coaching from Karl this week.
4) Our Sports Team (143 pts)
Still clinging to the edge of mathematical elimination, OST got off to a strong start due to their big investment in the AFC West. Start with Philip Rivers (23 pts) on 252 yards passing and 3 tds, one of which went to Keenan Allen (22 pts). Demaryious Thomas (18 pts), caught 8 balls for 105 yards, but couldn’t get any attention in the end zone for some strange reason (damn you Sanders!). Eddie Lacy (25 pts) was stymied on the ground, but hauled in 8 passes for 123 yards through the air. There were some points left on the bench though. Heath Miller (24 pts) watched Zack Ertz (9 pts) from the sidelines. That’s 13 points they could have used.
5) Unaccompanied Minors (138 pts)
Part of the trifecta of teams brawling over the second playoff spot, these lonely children got some surprises both good and bad this week. The Dolphins D/ST (28 pts) had two pick sixes of Jaguars rookie QB Blake Bortles and also blocked a kick. Larry Fitzgerald (29 pts) continues to enjoy the return of Carson Palmer to the lineup as the Cardinals beat the Eagles to go to 6-1 on the season! And Jamaal Charles (27 pts) had a nice air and ground day to go along with a touchdown in a rout of the Rams. On the downside, Jordy Nelson (5 pts) had his first off day in weeks, and Greg Olsen (2 pts) completely disappeared against the Seahawks.
6) Start Your Starters (121 pts)
SYS had a stars and scrubs week. Matt Forte (30 pts) continued his dual threat contributions, with 114 yards rushing and 54 receiving with a TD. Aaron Rodgers (28 pts) threw for 418 yards and two touchdowns. Ronnie Hillaman (15 pts) picked a good week to have his first 100 yard game, but Dez Bryant (12 pts) and Julius Thomas (4 pts) underperformed and left the Starters in the second division this week.
7) Seoul Crushers (120 pts)
Close behind, the Crushers (actually all three of these teams in this group) put up what would have been a perfectly decent score any other week. Tom Brady (34 pts) threw for 5 touchdowns and 354 yards! Remember When he was on the waiver wire? Antonio Gates (22 pts) and Ahmad Bradshaw (20 pts) tried their best. But Marshawn Lynch (7 pts) was mysteriously neglected in the Seahawks close shave against the Panthers. Coach Abby also had a mysterious kicker deficit, as Dan Bailey (5 pts) was outscored by Shane Graham (14 pts) on her bench.
8) Geatland Grendels (119 pts)
It wasn’t a case of “too many Bengals” this week as Andy Dalton (23 pts) had two QB sneak TD’s and Mo Sanu (19 pts) caught 5 passes for 125 yards. Nobody else besides Randall Cobb (23 pts) contributed whatsoever.
Nobody saw that coming Award Ben Roethlisberger racked 44 fantasy points this week and no one even had him on a roster! His 522 yard, 6 touchdown performance came on an unheard of 40 completions out of 49 attempts. Big Ben becomes the only passer in NFL history with two 500 yard games to his credit. And he did all of that despite wearing those laughable bumblebee style throwback jerseys. And being a rapist.
Well that was a fun weekend. What does week 9 have in store? Join us Friday and find out?