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Up From the Pit Fantasy Football: Week One Review

September 9, 2014

Hello there Fantasy Football Fans! The first weekend of the NFL season is in the books and man was it an exciting… is it still a weekend if it starts on Thursday and ends on Monday? Anyways there was a lot of fun football action that translated into a tight week on the Fantasy Scoreboard. First a warning to newcomers, Fantasy Football tracks a lot of different events beyond the touchdowns and field goals that make up the scoring in a game of real football. SO there is nothing unusual about scores in the 120-140 pt range.

The top spot this week was shared by the Open Carriers and the newly renamed Start your Starters (formerly Captain Chaos) with 135 total points. The Carriers were led by second year Steeler RB Le’Veon Bell (30 pts), whose 109 yards rushing, including a 38 yard touchdown run, were vital in holding off the surprising Browns comeback. The rest of the teams stars did predictably well, with Peyton Manning (looking mortal with 22 pts),  DeMarco Murray (22 pts) and Brandon Marshall (21 pts) all cracking the 20 pt barrier. But the bottom half of the lineup put up some single digit games to keep the OC’s from running away with the week.  Start your Starters total was anchored by a massive 7 catch, 104 yard and three touchdown evening from Bronco’s TE Julius Thomas (35 pts), backed up by Matt Forte (24 pts), whose receiving ability makes him a great player to own in our new Points Per Reception scoring environment. 

Last seasons champion Geatland Grendels came in third this week with 130 pts. The investment in orange and black paid off with Andy Dalton (18 pts), kicker Mike Nugent (17 pts) and AJ Green (25 pts) adding to a big day from TE Vernon Davis (20 pts) covering for a meager 8 total points from his backfield. The Unaccompanied Minors (29 pts) take the 4th spot behind QB Matthew Stafford who shredded the New York Football Giants for 346 yards, 2 TD passes and one with his legs. Carolina TE Greg Olsen (22 pts) joined in on the fun. Lots of scoring from the tight ends so far this year.  Team Scheirer tallied 126 points to snag the 5th spot, joining in on the Broncos/Colts shootout with 370 yards passing from Andrew Luck (29 pts) and 116 yards and a score from WR Antonio Brown. 

The Seoul Crushers unleashed Marshawn “Beast Mode” Lynch (25 pts) in the season opener on Thursday night, but unfortunately none of his fantasy teammates managed to get past 20 pts, leaving coach Abby in unfamiliar territory looking up at the rest of the league. Our Sports Team limped through the weekend with disappointing performances up and down the lineup. Not even the Giant Leprechaun, Colin Kaepernick (17 pts) could change their luck this week. Neer Neer Neeeeeeer came in last with 99 pts, but there were encouraging signs of life in last years doormats. The Calvin Johnson (35 pts) half of the Lions attack kept Coach Karl close to the pack and the NNN Bench had 101 pts sitting on it. With a little fiddling I think they could be very competitive this year. 

Player of the Week: Calvin Johnson and Julius Thomas shared the top scoring honors this week.

Coaching Genius Move of the Week: Always a fairly subjective award, and there usually isn’t much finagling in the first week. As Coach Frank says “Start Your Starters” and all that. So this week the award will go to Frank for holding steady, having faith in his draft and getting the season off to a great start.

Dave Shula Memorial Coaching Blunder of the Week: As above, week one doesn’t lend itself to a lot of strategizing, so there is no judging in this pick. But the costliest error this week goes to NNN, who left 20 whole points on the bench when the Rams D/ST (1 pt) got rolled by the Vikings and SF (21 pts) beat the crap out of the Cowboys. 

So that’s week one, I hope we all learned something. We’ll be back on Thursday for a quick and dirty preview of the coming week. 


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