Why am I so SAHD?
Stay at Home Dad. Sounds like a great gig? A lot of
folks think so. Very often my fellow Y-Chromosome bearers
will express a certain amount of Envy (one of the classic Big
Seven sins…) when they discover my less than common living
arrangements. These people are usually a) younger than me and
childless, and b) studiously ignoring how much of their whiskey I’m
guzzling. Now before this rant even gets off of the ground let me
be perfectly clear… I wouldn’t trade my life for just about any
other. When I think of all the things that had to happen to
get me to this spot in life in the first place I’m simply
gobsmacked at how lucky I am to be here. Ever since I
met The Girl and we started down this road together, it was always
our plan to go this route. As a matter of fact I’m sure that my
availability as a SAHD is the biggest reason we have any kids at
all. And for that I’m immensely grateful to my children because as anyone who knows me well can attest… while I may be awful at this job, it’s really the only thing I’m even remotely
qualified to do. I actually get a variety of responses when I admit
to being a stay at home Dad. A lot of guys are a bit envious,
but in a winsome kind of way, the same way they fantasize about
what they’d do if they won the Powerball and would never have to
work again. Trust me, those guys couldn’t hack it. They’d be
lining up to pay blackmail prices to the nearest daycare after one
week of no naptimes. And to be honest, there’s often an undertone of suspicion, as if I’m pulling off some sort of scam by doing the “easy” work of SAHD, instead of having a real job like a real man would. I try to return that sentiment with an undertone of “fuck you and the sexist high horse you road in on”.
Being a stay at home parent of any stripe is hardly an easy job. Small children are needy, grasping, messy, argumentative and clumsy. In my almost 6 years on the job both of the girls have had emergency room visits. With Abby in kindergarten and Carolina in preschool a lot of my day is scheduled around various drop offs and pick ups. Whatever time is left over from that is taken up keeping Linus out of the knife drawer, picking up the umpteen million puzzle pieces he has spread about the house, or grocery shopping.
Don’t even pretend that you might have time for a hobby of your own, maybe to craft the great American novel that is trapped in the colon of your soul, where it will slowly gnaw at your insides until it turns gangrenous and can only be removed with the purchase of a sports car at age 50.
Now I have to go and get under WordPresses hood and figure out why this post ended up formatted like a beat poem.
Allow me to summarize. SAHD is not as easy a job as I make it look. And I look like someone on the verge of a nervous breakdown most of the time. Do not enter into my world lightly, or unarmed with baby wipes.
You have been warned.
PS. Soon to come postings (trying to pin myself down to write shit)
1) A review of my new iPad (quick summary, it rocks enough to overcome its shortcomings)
2) A look back at new things from 2010 that stuck out. (for me, 2010 was the year of finding new blogs and really discovering podcasts for the first time)
3) My top 10 and bottom 5 tv shows for preschoolers.