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Why am I so SAHD?

January 20, 2011

Stay at Home Dad. Sounds like a great gig? A lot of
folks think so. Very often my fellow Y-Chromosome bearers
will express a certain amount of Envy (one of the classic Big
Seven sins…) when they discover my less than common living
arrangements. These people are usually a) younger than me and
childless, and b) studiously ignoring how much of their whiskey I’m
guzzling. Now before this rant even gets off of the ground let me
be perfectly clear… I wouldn’t trade my life for just about any
other. When I think of all the things that had to happen to
get me to this spot in life in the first place I’m simply
gobsmacked at how lucky I am to be here. Ever since I
met The Girl and we started down this road together, it was always
our plan to go this route. As a matter of fact I’m sure that my
availability as a SAHD is the biggest reason we have any kids at
all. And for that I’m immensely grateful to my children because as anyone who knows me well can attest… while I may be awful at this job, it’s really the only thing I’m even remotely
qualified to do. I actually get a variety of responses when I admit
to being a stay at home Dad. A lot of guys are a bit envious,
but in a winsome kind of way, the same way they fantasize about
what they’d do if they won the Powerball and would never have to
work again. Trust me, those guys couldn’t hack it. They’d be
lining up to pay blackmail prices to the nearest daycare after one
week of no naptimes. And to be honest, there’s often an undertone of suspicion, as if I’m pulling off some sort of scam by doing the “easy” work of SAHD, instead of having a real job like a real man would. I try to return that sentiment with an undertone of “fuck you and the sexist high horse you road in on”.

Being a stay at home parent of any stripe is hardly an easy job. Small children are needy, grasping, messy, argumentative and clumsy. In my almost 6 years on the job both of the girls have had emergency room visits. With Abby in kindergarten and Carolina in preschool a lot of my day is scheduled around various drop offs and pick ups. Whatever time is left over from that is taken up keeping Linus out of the knife drawer, picking up the umpteen million puzzle pieces he has spread about the house, or grocery shopping.
Don’t even pretend that you might have time for a hobby of your own, maybe to craft the great American novel that is trapped in the colon of your soul, where it will slowly gnaw at your insides until it turns gangrenous and can only be removed with the purchase of a sports car at age 50.

Now I have to go and get under WordPresses hood and figure out why this post ended up formatted like a beat poem.

Allow me to summarize. SAHD is not as easy a job as I make it look. And I look like someone on the verge of a nervous breakdown most of the time.  Do not enter into my world lightly, or unarmed with baby wipes.

You have been warned.

PS. Soon to come postings (trying to pin myself down to write shit)

1) A review of my new iPad (quick summary, it rocks enough to overcome its shortcomings)

2) A look back at new things from 2010 that stuck out. (for me, 2010 was the year of finding new blogs and really discovering podcasts for the first time)

3) My top 10 and bottom 5 tv shows for preschoolers.

Peace…Fuck…Peace.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. jenifersult permalink
    January 20, 2011 11:47 pm

    Thanks for this post. It is amazing to me how misunderstood parenting in general is but stay at home parenting in particular. I try to give my childless friends the benefit of the doubt because you truly can not know how difficult this job is until you do it. I had one friend who thought I baked cookies all day, and an ex who thought I watched Oprah all day (is that even possible?). One of the things that I found most challenging was just the shear mindless-ness of it, it does not take very deep thoughts to clean up spilled whatever and do several loads of laundry and constantly prepare meals and snacks… on and on and on. My theory is that if it seams hard, you must be doing a good job. I think you do a wonderful job of it and your interesting, intelligent, charming children are proof of that. It is nice to hear how lucky you feel (are) in spite of it all!

    • blotzphoto permalink*
      January 21, 2011 10:29 pm

      Thankfully laundry is primarily a weekend job that we share.

      I think a lot of people’s perception of stay at home parents in this day and age is colored by popular culture. On the SAHD end, a lot of the crap we deal with goes back to the movie “Mr. Mom”. In fact I was talking to the Girl last night about the movie (which I’ve never actually seen,) and I’m thinking of making it a project to watch and break it down in relation to our modern world.

  2. Ted permalink
    March 4, 2011 12:58 am

    late to the party on this post but glad i found your blog. i am a SAHD, too. you hit it on the head (and so did the above commentor, jenifersult.) people don’t get it. some people do – and that’s great. but the one’s who don’t can be a real pisser and frankly, it can get to ruining my day. i am not ‘hanging out’. i do not have ‘so much time on my hands’. i do not have ‘shit dialed in’. like you said it’s that lottery mentality. the guys who make these comments – some of them with kids – wouldn’t last a week doing what i do. they’ve got no clue.

  3. Julie permalink
    March 24, 2011 5:05 pm

    see, now none of my kids have been to the ER (knock on wood)! LOL lucky you! Kiera has been the only one to step foot in a hospital (outside of being born and coming to see the other kids after they were born), and that was for a frenulectomy. Forturnately out here, no-one that I know has preconceived (I don’t think) notions about what a SAHP does. It just sucks up your time… Much like Facebook does! Thank goodness for Thomas the Tank Engine! lol

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