Thanksgiving with family in Birmingham, Alabama… A tragedy in three acts
Act 3: Taking the long way home
There’s actually not much to add to our little adventure. We made the trip back from Birmingham in one long nine hour slog, stopping only to eat lunch at fucking Cracker Barrel. In case you’ve never been, Cracker Barrel is a chain restaurant that masquerades as the kind of old country store with an eatery attached that you can no longer find in this country because they’ve all been replaced with fucking Cracker Barrels. Remember the pickle incident from chapter one? Well this is the payoff. First we crowd our no longer restaurant worthy family into this dump and wait 20 minutes for our poorly trained and underpaid waitress to take our order. I order a simple double cheeseburger. I very specifically asked for no pickle. We waited another 30 minutes for said cheeseburger to arrive (during which time Linus has managed to eat half of a children’s menu and Carolina is trying to put my eyes out with that stupid triangle game you play with the golf tees.)
And when we finally receive our lunch… right there on my cheeseburger that I specifically ordered to be pickle free… lay 3 disgusting dill chips from hell. Now at this point we’ve been there for almost an hour, so it was out of the question for me to send it back. So I peeled those fuckers off, doubled down on ketchup, and proceeded to eat the worst cheeseburger I can remember having. I’m serious… all I could taste was pickle. I wanted to KILL someone.
Luckily… I was not driving home, or I think I would have.
A drive through the south can provide some really unique and interesting signs, primarily in the nature of PREACHING AT YOU IN GIANT LETTERS!!!!
Or perhaps advertising a unique service?
Or perhaps a little of both?
Well that’s all for now folks. I’m gonna try and be back next week with some new stuff to talk about.